Puffing Your Peeps

 I’m a geek and sometimes I don’t quite get analogies. At a recent chorus coaching, the coach, Beth, kept talking about "puffing your peeps" as a way to think about growing our sound and sharing it with others. I could envision what Beth was talking about with her “puff your peep” analogy, but I decided I really needed to try it for myself to really understand it. After enduring the scorn for bring home Peeps because no one will touch the things in my house, I told the rest of the family that Evil Nikki, the chorus director, and her partner in crime, Bodacious Beth, had given me homework. No surprise, the whole family had to watch this.

Beth and Debbie, another chorus member,  were quite adamant that peeps could be puffed no more than 5 seconds else the wrath of the world would descend upon us. Being the cautious type, I carefully placed 1 peep onto a plate, put it into the microwave, and watched my peep as the timer counted down: 5,4,3,2,1, OBNOXIOUS. Well, to be honest, I didn’t see much puffing going on but sure in my faith in Nikki and Beth, I dutifully popped the peep and grimaced. It was still that icky, sticky peep, now just vaguely warm and gooey.

Well, at least I’ve provided a few minutes of laughter for the family as I struggle to eat it. After all, a mom who says to her children “once the food goes in your mouth, you have to swallow it” can’t exactly break her own rule…

But there are four more Peeps looking forlornly at me. They are cute, and well, part of being a geek is understanding just why a rule exists. So, I dared to try again for 6 seconds. As I watched, I detected a small slight crackling in the pink exterior and a slight bulging around the belly. Ok, I guess I’ll eat a pregnant Peep with stretch marks. It was better than the first one, but honestly, there were only hints of goodness. At least there was somewhat less laughter at my weird faces this time around.

Ok, now I’ve broken the magic 5 second rule with no evil consequences, endured eating two of these vile things, and understand even less than I did before I started. Once more into the microwave went a Peep to be sacrificed to science. We went a daring 7 seconds this time and I watched as the Peep’s belly swelled to quints at 9 month proportions. There were stretch marks up to the little duck’s beak but the stretch marks promptly turned into wrinkles as her pregnant body collapsed in the cool kitchen air, and she hadn’t heard a scream from them yet, much less tried to get them into their snow gear. Putting her out of her misery, I popped her into my mouth as my family watched eagerly to see what faces I’d make this time.

Wait a minute, this thing is good. Like boyfriend good. Like burning bridesmaid’s dresses good. Like perfect shoes good. Like I’ve been watching too many of those silly yogurt ads. Realization dawns: I have puffed my peeps and they are good! Even better, I have two more to puff!

Being a real daredevil, we go for 8 seconds. I watch that Peep puff, and puff, and puff before the OBNOXIOUS bell forces me to open the door to shut it up. Cold air hits the peep and all the puffing becomes Lake Peep on the bottom of the plate. Ok, we have officially achieved uggggggggllleeeeeee. Even my faith in Nikki can’t make me touch Lake Peep so I leave that in the sink for Sharron to clean up since it’s her week to do dishes.

I only have one more peep left, but now I know not only where ugly is, but I know how good one step back from ugly is. I also have crossed over the line set for myself and pushed beyond what I thought was right, proper and merely good  to the place where it is great.

Unfortunately, Sharron’s puppy eyes over my delight in the goodness of peeps and the torment of being saddled with the cleanup overwhelms my sense of righteousness and I puff the last peep for her.  My adventures were just a memory on my lips and another inch on my hips.

Hmmm, I wonder if the store might have another box of Peeps?